I Just Realized, That I Am Totally Depressed
What's up? I don't care is there any readers or bunch of people who care about this dumb post. Writing makes me feel better.
I'm no longer being a boy. I'm an adult and it's hard being adult. I thaught all adults were wise person when i was a kid. I will never claim myself as a wise person, because there is no even single a wise person in this fuckin life. I've been in this hole since years ago. Now, if you think you gonna say "you r stupid and dont know how to live a life!" congratuilation! May be you are mentally the best in this world.
I dont have any spirit to live this life. A lot of things caught in my mind and that is TOO MUCH. I know what i have to do, i know the best way that i have to in. But its not as easy as you think. Somethings i realized lately that, I'M TOTALLY DEPRESSED. Oh dude, i know how hard the weight of this wolrd that i hold up. I know life is hard. I know that a lot of people are evil. BUT BEING DEPRESSED IS NOT MY OWN CHOICE. I didnt even know what is the meaning of DEPRESSION untill i surfed that word on internet.
God dammit. Astagfirullah. I'm depressed.
How do i know?
In this current situation, i really feel like :
1. Feeling a lot of guilty.
2. Feeling of hopelessness.
3. I do my hobbies, but there is no hardcore interest anymore on it. Fuck. I hate being this.
4. INSOMNIA.
5. I got empty feelings.
And that five signs above are MATCHED up with person in Depression condition that i found on internet.
Being this is not what i really hope. At least, im grateful that i have no reason about suicide. Cause i still love this life, i still care of people that i love, i still want to live a life even if my life is not precious in people's perspective. But please. Why am i in this situation? How to throw this stupid signs OUT from my self? Please.. :( someone help me to figure it out! :(
And then my friend came to my flat and said to me. "You're the dumbest and you have to knowing your creator and read the fuckin guide of life"
Me, "What? Astagfirullah. Where have i been? Thank you my friend for saving my ass. I love u.
My friend, "Fuck you."
OK. Story END.
Hahaha fuck u
It was the truth and jokes on it. I'm randomly fuck up. Just wanted to write that don't know why.
BUT IM STILL FUCKIN DEPRESSED.
Bye..
Astagfirullah. Maaf kan aku ya Allah.. Semoga diriku tetap bisa bersyukur.
Assalamu'alaikum.
555555555 ---> just find it in thai language.
I'm no longer being a boy. I'm an adult and it's hard being adult. I thaught all adults were wise person when i was a kid. I will never claim myself as a wise person, because there is no even single a wise person in this fuckin life. I've been in this hole since years ago. Now, if you think you gonna say "you r stupid and dont know how to live a life!" congratuilation! May be you are mentally the best in this world.
I dont have any spirit to live this life. A lot of things caught in my mind and that is TOO MUCH. I know what i have to do, i know the best way that i have to in. But its not as easy as you think. Somethings i realized lately that, I'M TOTALLY DEPRESSED. Oh dude, i know how hard the weight of this wolrd that i hold up. I know life is hard. I know that a lot of people are evil. BUT BEING DEPRESSED IS NOT MY OWN CHOICE. I didnt even know what is the meaning of DEPRESSION untill i surfed that word on internet.
God dammit. Astagfirullah. I'm depressed.
How do i know?
In this current situation, i really feel like :
1. Feeling a lot of guilty.
2. Feeling of hopelessness.
3. I do my hobbies, but there is no hardcore interest anymore on it. Fuck. I hate being this.
4. INSOMNIA.
5. I got empty feelings.
And that five signs above are MATCHED up with person in Depression condition that i found on internet.
Being this is not what i really hope. At least, im grateful that i have no reason about suicide. Cause i still love this life, i still care of people that i love, i still want to live a life even if my life is not precious in people's perspective. But please. Why am i in this situation? How to throw this stupid signs OUT from my self? Please.. :( someone help me to figure it out! :(
And then my friend came to my flat and said to me. "You're the dumbest and you have to knowing your creator and read the fuckin guide of life"
Me, "What? Astagfirullah. Where have i been? Thank you my friend for saving my ass. I love u.
My friend, "Fuck you."
OK. Story END.
Hahaha fuck u
It was the truth and jokes on it. I'm randomly fuck up. Just wanted to write that don't know why.
BUT IM STILL FUCKIN DEPRESSED.
Bye..
Astagfirullah. Maaf kan aku ya Allah.. Semoga diriku tetap bisa bersyukur.
Assalamu'alaikum.
555555555 ---> just find it in thai language.
Comments
Post a Comment